Lately I have been sentimental

I am not sure if it stems from the recent graduation, or recent job searches, or recent love life stuff, but I am finding myself increasingly sentimental about the dorkiest things.
My poor baby, I MADE him sit there and watch YouTube videos from my childhood Sesame Street and Nintendo days - forcing him to digest the importance of "The Ladybugs Twelve."
This morning, while wandering through the friend-blogs (ya gotta keep up somehow), I found this wonderful memory.
It made me think of my parents and I at a time when I was both too opinionated and too formidable for my own good.
Opinionated and Formidable tend not to be such a good combination - what it means is that you convince yourself of your own ideas and then live out of that opinion until something horrific happens to bust you out of it. But I guess I turned out alright.

Why yes... I am obsessed thank you.

Check this out.

I don't think so....

ALLIANCE, Neb. - Talk about extra innings. A baseball game that began at 10 a.m. on Saturday in Alliance ended Sunday at 4:05 p.m.
That's 30 hours and five minutes between the first pitch and the final out. Game organizers are counting on the contest being long enough to break a world record.
Forty players, ranging in age from 18 to 44, rotated in and out of the 84-inning game in hopes of setting a new Guinness World Record for the longest baseball game.
The record stands at 25 hours, set in Canada nearly three years ago.
Alliance organizers tried for a record last year, but their 24-hour, 16-minute game fell short of the record by 44 minutes.
Far from a pitcher's duel, this year's game was won by the Alliance Times-Herald Dragons, which beat the WESTCO Knights, by a score of 120 to 114.

Ok - here's the deal. This is NOT a legit world record... Why? Because there is no way that this game really went 84 innings according to the conditions set on baseball play. So inherently there are 9 innings in a ball game and extra innings are brought on by a tie at the end of the 9th. There is no way that these people kept getting ties at the end of freaking 75 innings - unless they threw the game and did it on purpose - and that is cheating and therefore doesn't count.
I guess there is nothing better to do in Alliance, Nebraska.

For a REAL record, check this out:
Oldest Baseball Player Leroy Robert "Satchel" Paige pitched for the Kansas City A's (American League) at the age of 59 years and 80 days on September 25, 1965. His baseball career spanned 40 years although he was as famous for his showmanship on the field as he was for his pitching.

(please note: he played for the A's. Thank you very much.)

Toddlers and Jesus

It occurred to me this morning that in the whole "infinity/timeless" dealio- meaning the whole day is like a minute, thousand years like a day thing - that we are all toddlers in the age-eyes of God.

This makes me feel like my bratty/leavemealone/Icandoitmyselfthankyouverymuch attitude may actually be relatively natural. I picture myself running naked away from bathtime, all soapy and giggly! Ah Freedom! *skip-skip-skip* *shriek of laughter*

Cool! I am a terrible-two and God expects that!
"Suffer not the little children to come unto me!"

Now, if I can just move beyond using it as an excuse...

Auntie X2?

Ok, so, technically I am not... but Kyliah gave birth to
Samantha Rain Villa
on August 9th -
7lbs 12oz, 21 inches!
I held her for an hour yesterday. I think she knew my voice because she wasn't fussy or anything. Well, that's how I like to believe it. :)
God knows I talked to her in the belly enough.

Congrats!!!!

(sorry - I forgot my camera! no pic!)

I am an Auntie!!!!!

Announcing (do-do-do-doooooo):
Miss Lucy
The beautiful new addition to the Guilford family (for those of you who don't know.. Sara is one of my best friends from college.)
8lbs 12oz, 21 1/4inches
Born Saturday, August 12th at 2am-ish.

Congratulations!

You people are sneaky!

Ok - I have HAD it with you sneaky "I read your blog but you would never know it because I don't make comments unless I randomly see you on campus" people!!!!!
I did not realize that people actually read this thing. I figured it was just my two aunts and Rachel and B-W. Whom by the way, I am grateful for your comments!
Anyway.... thank you to the peeps who casually congratulated me on my new head in the clouds mentality. I am sure that if P-Dog knew that I was posting copious amounts of mushiness about him for the world to see, I would be exiled to Mars, so I guess it's good that he doesn't so much keep up on this thing! (HA! HA! I can tell secrets about us and he shall never know!!!!! Huzzah!)

Other things going on in life:
I am looking for some change (yeah... I know, like I need any more, right?!) I am feeling this huge Esther type preparation anointing thing going on in my spirit (to which P-Dog commented, "What? You have the anointing to be a PROSTITUTE?!" No, honey, but thanks for checking. : Grrrr.)
Brother is getting healthier. Baby steps to the door....baby steps to the street... I am cautiously optimistic - PROGRESS!!!! I am proud of him for some new/different choices he has made.

IMPORTANT!!!!!
KATIE AND NICK ARE ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He did it on the sand dunes in Michigan not last night but the night before. SO sweet! He tricked her into thinking they were going to a movie, but then it got all cancelled, and at the dunes he was all "Do you want some water?" and she was like "ok" and instead of giving her the water to drink, he like totally washed her feet and then, like, totally proposed. Like, oh my Gosh. :)
Way to go Nick - you rock!
Congratulations to my dear sweet sister Katie, whom I miss terribly and look forward to seeing very much.

Hmmm...lets see... what else?
Oh, Jesus and I have been having lots of talks about life and future and happy-hard things. It's time to step up to the plate folks. And I am learning that being ondeck is much, much, much easier. Why can't I just be the great nice player that sits on the bench and encourages everybody else to play well???? I am good at that! Coach has basically told me that homeruns don't count in batting practice. It's time to get off the bench, and get in the game. The scary part is I know I am up against a conniving, experienced pitcher. The not scary part is I have the best teammates ever. But teammates don't go to bat for you, they just encourage you to smack it out of the park. I can do that I think. Heck, I've been in the minors long enough.
I think that is just about as far as I would like to take this analogy today. (But I am sure there will be more... it is a baseball analogy after all :) )

Some upcoming events I am looking forward to:
PDog home
Padres Game
See Mom/Dad (Ben?)
See Beckin/Kevy (don't ask)
A'S GAME
Etta James

To life!

Per your requests...

Us.

I am in love... ahhhh

Yup. It is official. I love a boy. Actually, I love a man. (He is SO NOT a boy!) I know this might come as a shocker to some; I have keeping this on the d-low for a while as we were "working it out". BUT, I just got back from visiting him in Florida, where God used us to minister to each other and others and solidified a lot of stuff for us - or at least for me. It's funny - we don't really know where we will go, or what we will do, or the time line or details or anything. All we really know for sure is that we are doing it together.
Writing this on my blog is a testimony for me. I am scared as I write it.... it seems to make things, so, REAL.
BUT that is what this is! REAL! All the other times - those were the fake times! I had gotten so used to the fake times that the real time seems, well, fake. (Just humor me if you don't get what I am saying)

I want to tell you just a few things that I love about him.
1. Loves God so much/is a worshipper
2. Thoughtful
3. Integritous
4. Creative
5. Excellent planner
6. Educated (self and formally)
7. A great servant (which makes him a great leader)
8. Likes music
9. Intelligent
10. Fine. No wait - hella fine. (ohthankyoujesus!)

And that is just the tippy tip top of the iceberg!

I think you will be hearing more about our adventures as time goes on. So far, I just ask that you pray for us and what God is doing. Please also pray for me that I can be excited and enjoy the next two weeks while he is still in Florida and I am back in LA. :( I miss him a lot - I know it will be over soon, but that only helps a little.

Oh yeah, one more thing - he loves me too.

Another awesome quote from Kyliah....

In regards to Branston Hicks contractions 8-10 days before her baby is due:

"I hesistate to say painful, because that is a word that we will save for later."

Ahhh, I love this woman.

I wanna be like this:

Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabaded, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory.

Maya Angelou

Melancholy

I have not written in a while. I have been emotional busy and whenever I get emotional busy I don't write a lot. It's like a ball game, really. When I am at the ball game I care about all the details - when I'm not I just want to know the final score.
So I am imposing that feeling upon all of you. It has been extra innings in Michelle land and so I am waiting to give you the final score.

In the meantime.... Some thoughts I have been munching on:
- The A's played their first errorless game in six games last night, but just got 2 back-2-back errors in the bottom of the 7th of the game I', listening to right now. Oh well, I guess that could preach. You think that you are on an errorless streak and then you error back-2-back. It's just part of the game; it is inevitable.
- Matt 15. Wow.
- The whole temple/body/body of Christ theme. Romans 9:4; 1 Cor. 3:16/17, 8:10, 9:13; 2 Cor. 6:16; Eph. 2:21. Seems Paul had something he wanted to say about that. Trying to get the big picture and figure out what that means for us.
- Is not being physically healthy a sin? That is bold... and it means that I have got junk to work out. This is really scary because I think part of my calling has to do with teaching Christians the theology/bibliology of physical health. Uh-oh.
- God is amazing and I don't trust God as much as I would like to think I do. I am totally getting all these little tests left and right to put my previous posts' thoughts in action. I love it: Excited to death/scared to death about some things that I will mention later.

In a melancholy mood today; blood sugar has been low for like a week and I can't seem to get it up... strange.

Sovereign or not? Make up your mind...

Assumptions I operate under
1. God is really big
2. God knows everything
3. God is in control

I think most X's would agree - even if you are an open theist - you would agree that God is the being who is at least in control of being in control, and just chooses to let Godself be moved by God's love for us.

That being said, I think I have pinpointed a sadness, a grief if you will, that I have been feeling in regards to my family in God.

I am grieved that we say that we think God is in control and then speak/act as though God is not.
You are probably thinking, "thank you captain obvious."
Let me explain, no, let me sum up (didya catch that?):

The general grip/worry/lament of X is that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. We are worried by sex/violence/cussing in film, sad tales from the news, porn in romance novels and the internet, racism, classism, lack of social justice, etc. These are all things that are not necessarily such good things. I see that we have something to be sad about.
BUT what I am thinking is that our regrets and complaints are distracting us from remembering that God is sovereign. (If your theology allows for God to not be sovereign, then I guess you are off the hook on this on, and that is cool too.)
If we believe God to be in control, knowing all things, then why do we as a religion/faith get so bent out of shape about all these crappy things happening as though God needs our help stopping it?
I mean, all the junk that is around is all the same junk that was around through all of history - judgment/sex/violence/abuse/"isms". It only feels worse perhaps because we are in the middle of it. Or maybe TV and the information age allows us to be way more aware of all the stuff that happens - whatever - the point is that there is nothing new under the sun - including sin.
SOOO - if God was able to be a redemptive force all those many years ago, why isn't God able to be a redemptive agent even now?
This idea is tough because it will cause us to rethink how we view our roles in the work of God. If this is so, we are no longer allowed to be nay-sayers but are now required to be light and salt and the physical manifestation of the hand of God's reconciliation wherever we go - even if it gets us killed (hmmmmm.... sound familiar?)
To reframe how we see God's presence and ability in the world, we are suddenly much more responsible to, well, respond.
I almost feel like my complaining is a moot point. Shit happens. How you deal with it is more important than trying to prevent it. (Although I can't pull myself away from the call to try my best to not be the cause of that shit, mind you. There is still something to be said about living a life of holiness. Does saying shit make me unholy? It's not like the word "crap" or "stuff" wouldn't have meant the same thing in my heart.... ok, ok, I'll stop on that for now)
Anyway, trying to prevent sin can only go so far... we take the action that we can with all the grace that we can. BUT, when the sin happens, or is happening, that is when I need to chill and deal with the situation in the most "I believe God is in control" way possible.
For example: Hollywood makes rated R movies. Deal. It is not going to stop anytime soon. If the option of complaining about it/rejecting it is taken out of the picture, what next?
Perhaps seeing that Hollywood is doing us a favor?
Hollywood is actually exposing a lot of the things that are the realities of everyday life for many people. We as X's now have an opportunity to engage the people of the world that are pre-believing with an understanding of the questions, concerns, fears, angers, emotions, etc. that they are experiencing.
Awesome! God, once again, in God's sovereignty, is using what was intended (perhaps?) as evil for good! God is being God's glorious, wonderful, graceful, redemptive, reconciling self - and working everything for good for those who love God and are called according to God's purpose.... God is using Hollywood to be the prophet so we can be the healers and ministers and join people in the response to the sin that is exposed.
I really want to reexamine how I view God. I say God is sovereign, now I want to start living like that more intentionally. Who wants to join me?

Here are some verses that are helping me refocus. If it feels like to you that I am proof texting, I am sorry. All I can say is that these verses/passages are working on me right now as little mantras of hope....

Romans 8: 9-12:
You, however, are not controlled by the sinful nature but are in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation--but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it.

Romans 8:26-28
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

Psalm 86: 7-11
In the day of my trouble I call on you, for you will answer me.
There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours.
All the nations you have made shall come and bow down before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name.
For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God.
Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart to revere your name.

All of Job 38-41 (perhaps take a gander at Job's response)

Jeremiah 23:23-24
"Am I a God near by," says the Lord, "and not a God far off? Who can hide in secret places so that I cannot see them?" says the Lord. "Do I not fill heaven and earth?" says the Lord.

Ok, I guess that is enough for now.... there are so many other stories and such that I wish to share! (I love the Word of God!)

Seriously though, who wants to take this challenge with me?

attempting to actually work this thing.

disney2
Originally uploaded by Princess Babydoll.

I am freaking trying to get this pic as my profile pic and it won't let me and that BUGS!!!!!
I think I want a real live web site so that I can put on there whatever I want! I am tired of this blogger thing not letting me do what I want!
Fie!


On a side note, it's pretty funny-odd that the expression on my face in this pic shows the exact opposite than what I am feeling right now. Again, Fie!

God is moving!

This week has been tiring and amazing. God has been moving! What I really like is that God showed me God's hand of omnipresence this week. God was at Camp in FL and Wild Oats in CA. God was in a sermon in South Branden and a coffee date in Pasadena.
I really like that God is everywhere doing wonderful things all the time. What I don't like is how I miss it so often because I am busy being self-focused on what is going on in my little life in my little city in my little mind!

I was so blessed yesterday by the Mister telling me his stories from camp.... God touched kids, reconciled relationships and brought the realization the we just plain need community. I was so overwhelmed I couldn't even respond.... and you know me... I can ALWAYS respond!

God is also doing a bunch of stuff at WO - two new managers, hearts that are breaking, questions galore, real-life ministry.
I know that I am doing ministry right here, right now. All my seminary education is right here, right now. Wow. It really is paying off. Well, kinda. Paying off in the spiritual sense, not so much in the financial sense.

I am so excited to see more of the movement; highly anticipating more of the Holy Spirit. I want to be a part of this movement for sure - I miss it, I miss the HS, I miss the reality of the impossible.

I love God. More Lord, More Lord, More Lord. Amen.

Charmed again

He has verbally expressed he isn't so hot on text messaging.
Usually only short responses; I always text first.

Texted me this morning.
Unprompted.


*sigh*

I love culture?

I found this book:

Pomosexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality ed. by Carol Quenn and Lawrence Schimel

The book was obviously kindly and carefully written to those of the lesbian/gay lifestyle who are seeking to understand their sexuality in relation to other lesbian/gay people. I am an outsider. I feel like I stumbled upon some beautifully dangerous Portrait-of-Dorian-Grey-esqe opium pit. (I am Dorian Grey btw.) I am shocked and a bit embarrassed by my reaction to picking up this book.
The most wonderfully surprising thing about this book is the strange commradery that I feel with the different writers. This quote, hopefully, we example that to you:

"There are derogatory words, like queer and slut and whore and the notorious N-word, that some people want to reclaim, even wear as a badge of honor, a Purple Heart for survivors of intolerance. There are words like Christian or lesbian, that carry a different value judgement depending on who is speaking and who is listening. And there are words like sex and power and anger and pride, words that carry mixed judgements in themselves almost regardless of who says or hears them."

Mostly the book is about loaded language. I suppose you could read Telford Work or someone more "Christiany" (not that Telford Work is X-y, just that he is way more intellectual about it and therefore more boring) and get the same gist, but perhaps stepping really, really far out of our comfort zones will make this soup spicier. And hey! It's about sex! You all know how much I am fascinated by the way we (especially X's!) view sex!

Love that the title is Pomosexuals. Totally took postmodernism to another level. It made me think of Barry and Craig's Matrix of Meanings book. We are truly post-sexual.

Not much more to say about that... maybe more as the book unfolds.

Uh-oh...

Last night and the night before I had the distinct pleasure of conversing with an extrememly intelligent (and might I say handsome) young man on the various impacts the current United States theology makes on both local and global churches.
Words that nary have graced some ears, such as "hermanutic" and "theological sophistication" were copiously used.
As we pondered the solutions to such matters as the problem of upper-middle-class disconnect with the reality of the Old Testament prophetic speeches on financial justice and the issue of localized ethics being more necessary than general "Christian Ethics" (note: as said young man put it: "What has happened when a pastor finds himself repenting to his congregation for an affair? Which small choices led to that?" to which I responded, in agreement, "It's the little foxes that spoil the vine.") I was charmed to the core. Even though our topics grim, my heart smiled and my face showed it. I know because I immediately headed to Community Group! after the conversation, where it was quickly and loudly announced that I was "glowing."
I insisted it was the sticky summer sweat, but inside I knew I had been caught.

Then it hit me, like a ton of bricks: I am totalty enamored by men who can talk practical theology and politics and philosophy and interpretation and church history and, well, all things intelligencia.
To charm me, just mention Pinnock with a whisper or contextual ministry with a smile.
Discuss the meaning of life as a person of powerlessness in a traditionalist society.
Talk dirty politics to me.

Dang.
That means I am dork.

grrrrr.....

Why do we have to loose a freaking 10 game winning streak to the freaking Rockies?

Oh my gosh......

Ok - exactly 5 hours long.....
the bases are loaded with two outs and Crosby is up...
come on come on.....
WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!
Crowd on thier feet Crosby is hitting 253

ball two!!!!
*biting my nails!!!!!****
ball three!!!!!!
if he walks him then the A's WIN!!!!!
how anti-climactic!
3-1 (grrrr)
YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Ball FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE OAKLAND A'S HAVE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE NINTH GAME IN A ROW!!!!!!!!!!

FINAL SCORE: 5-4

YESYESYESYESYESYESYES

btw.... Mark Lovers - kiss my toe baby!