I know it is true.

Last year at my bday, girlfriend Paige read aloud to the my party this poem. It was her gift to me, about me. Later that year, Chris bought the book form of it for me.
Today, I own it. I believe it. I embrace that this poem really is about me.
I am no longer worried about what others think - am I self-absorbed? Am I full of the pride of life?
Oh, I think not. I think those are labels that are put on women, all people actually, who know themselves. Jealousy and envy force the insecure to maul and misconstrue the securities in others.
When I am weak, oh Lord, I am strong. You have made me strong. You have made me the phenomenal women I am. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - I have the mind of Christ. I am not a puppet on God's string, God is not my Professor Higgins.
I am a promise, I am a work of art, I am a symphony - I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am wholly other from my creator, yet everything I am is defined by my creator.

And you are too. Read and believe, my sisters. Read and believe.


Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.

I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees.

I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.

I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.

I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That's me.

so much loss

Friends - it is the end of an era. Rosa Parks, age 92, passed away at her home in Detroit last night.


I am learning a new level of sorrow over that last couple weeks. So many people have died that have influenced my life. Some helped build my environment from afar - they helped build the color of life - baseball, civil rights, hope, some goodness in the world. Others helped build my heart - worship, friendship, pain and struggle.

Heart hurts.

With Sorrow

Bill King, announcer for the Oakland Athletics, died yesterday.
His voice will forever ring in my ears as a thread to my youth, my family, my culture.
Rest in Peace Bill - and up in heaven -
Play ball.

Be still my heart...

be still my heart
sit down my soul
come over and rest
perhaps be made whole

be not afraid
of this journey ahead
yes, the road rocky
fight on, instead

look to the mountain
for a help, for a touch
aware that your fearing
it's all too much

you will be ripped open
oh soul, you will cry
oh broken spirit
you'll wish you could die

you will wish for an end
to the torture and pain
you will weep for forgiveness
you'll feel crushed, insane -

even lonely and tired
and lost in the dark
own it and be it
don't shy from the mark

of a scar on your being
of the slice of the knife
that cuts out the tumors
invading your life

be still my heart
be brave my soul
embrace all of you
and in time -

be made whole

On Bruce Sutter...

On the greatness of relief pitcher Bruce Sutter - the man who had over 40 saves in 1984 and won the NL Rolaids Relief Award in 1979, 1981, 1982 and 1984 - Hank Greenwald (SF Giants broadcaster) replied:

"Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist."

Don't ever tell me there isn't theology in Baseball.

Blast Open My Heart

Oh shucks. It's that special time again. Spiritual angioplasty.

Until an awesome time with MommaGod on Saturday morning I:
- Took too much responsibility for other peoples feelings.
- "Protected" people from pain, ultimately because I want to be protected from pain.
- Had not given myself permission to date. If I don't date, I won't hurt my single women friends. They won't be sad or lonely or jealous. Sorry girls - it's on - I'm dating whether you like it or not.

Speaking of permission: I give myself permission to be me all the time and actually do what I want to do and feel what I need to feel.
I give myself permission to not be who I was before Saturday morning.

Amen, MommaGod, Amen

Have to Verify

So I turned on this thing that makes you word verify your comments because I keep getting all these stupid spam comments! FIE!!!! Sorry for the inconvenience, not sorry for the getting rid of spam

Headshots! Yeah!

I got the link to the headshots that Cory Anderson took for me. WARNING! WARNING! Some of these are pretty bad, as headshots usually consist of snapping, snapping, snapping as you are talking, talking, talking. Tell me your favorites!!!!!! I need to pick one to print out to use for about 9 months. I am expecting comments here folks! Linkage:
http://www.candersonphotography.com/HeadShots/markwart/