Usually when one reads a book, one reserves recommendation until one has finished reading. THIS one is reading Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.
Even if one reads only the first third- one would learn many things that one could, and perhaps should, incorporate into daily living.
Long live the written word and its power to inflame one's heart and mind.
Thursday, November 25
Monday, November 15
Slaves...
They are slaves who fear to speak
For the fallen and the weak;
They are slaves who will not choose
Hatred, scoffing, and abuse,
Rather than in silence shrink
From the truth they needs must think;
They are slaves who dare not be
In the right with two or three.
James Russell Lowell
what do you fear to be right about? what do you fear to voice out?
what are you a slave to?
For the fallen and the weak;
They are slaves who will not choose
Hatred, scoffing, and abuse,
Rather than in silence shrink
From the truth they needs must think;
They are slaves who dare not be
In the right with two or three.
James Russell Lowell
what do you fear to be right about? what do you fear to voice out?
what are you a slave to?
Friday, November 12
Friends are good for lots of things!
One of those things is teaching you how to spell. I have been recently informed:
the correct spelling is JE NE SAIS QUOI
now Katters can be enjoyed in the purest version of herself.
Dat mayd no cence.
the correct spelling is JE NE SAIS QUOI
now Katters can be enjoyed in the purest version of herself.
Dat mayd no cence.
Thursday, November 4
So many events, so little time...
So I have been like totally busy! (think cooky teenage valley girl accent)
This quarter has proved to be one of the most challenging in terms of time managment. I have realized that if I let myself, I can survive with little social contact. I am not sure if that means that I am on my way to hermit-dom, or if that means that I am so busy that the only unbusiness I have is being alone. Hmmm. Probably the latter.
I have learned some great things over my time away:
a short list ensues:
A priest with a funny voice can ruin a good funeral mass.
Living with boys is very easy, but they smell and don't understand what organic garbage is.
There is a bigger difference between 26 and 27 then one may think.
It is hard to be patient. (umm, duh, but really - I am really learning this!)
I like to read.
Lauren Hill rocks
The song I'll Be by Edwin McCain is a good song to have at a wedding. (it is also a good "they're playing our song" song)
I cannot stop being a hopeless romantic, no matter hard I try. Piss!
I love having best friends that are men, they don't try to date me.
I hate having best friends that are men, they don't try to date me.
This quarter has proved to be one of the most challenging in terms of time managment. I have realized that if I let myself, I can survive with little social contact. I am not sure if that means that I am on my way to hermit-dom, or if that means that I am so busy that the only unbusiness I have is being alone. Hmmm. Probably the latter.
I have learned some great things over my time away:
a short list ensues:
A priest with a funny voice can ruin a good funeral mass.
Living with boys is very easy, but they smell and don't understand what organic garbage is.
There is a bigger difference between 26 and 27 then one may think.
It is hard to be patient. (umm, duh, but really - I am really learning this!)
I like to read.
Lauren Hill rocks
The song I'll Be by Edwin McCain is a good song to have at a wedding. (it is also a good "they're playing our song" song)
I cannot stop being a hopeless romantic, no matter hard I try. Piss!
I love having best friends that are men, they don't try to date me.
I hate having best friends that are men, they don't try to date me.
Thursday, October 28
Many Moons...
A lunar eclipse happened last night. this was great. It prompted me to get off my tush and write something. Unfortunately, I am at work, so not right now.
Saturday, October 2
Limping = Freedom
I have had a little light at the end of the tunnel come on and blind me: I am struggling.
This is not, however, a bad thing.
I am learning, deeply and truly, what it is to be in true tension: Jacob wrestling with the angel was an imperative to his relationship with God. Without a broken hip, he would have no reminder - no prophetic demonstration - of the reality of God's presence in his life. So too with me - as my hip is torn from its socket I rejoice in the visible affect and effect it produces in my walk - may my limp spurn others to sprint.
What an honor to be dis-abled by the power and presence of the Lord.
What once I saw as a handicap given to Jacob, I see as a grace.
The Lord had the grace to dis-able Jacob so that he would be unable to fight Him. How can you punch a man if you have no hands? How can you kick a man when you have no legs?
And how can you fight God when you have no will?
Jacobs limp hip, his mangled pride, was a gift from God - he would never have to deal with the torment of his own unfaithfulness again.
Please don't talk to me if you have never had a mangled hip. I just won't trust you.
On that note, a story of grace:
Studying. "Reading the Bible from the Margins"
"I've heard all this before
It is so redundent -
move along."
A voice whispers, "Michelle"
"Hmmm?"
"A year ago you knew none of what you read here"
"ummmm, duh"
"Rejoice in your redundancy, Michelle."
"Why?"
"Because it means you learned something."
"Hmmm."
This is not, however, a bad thing.
I am learning, deeply and truly, what it is to be in true tension: Jacob wrestling with the angel was an imperative to his relationship with God. Without a broken hip, he would have no reminder - no prophetic demonstration - of the reality of God's presence in his life. So too with me - as my hip is torn from its socket I rejoice in the visible affect and effect it produces in my walk - may my limp spurn others to sprint.
What an honor to be dis-abled by the power and presence of the Lord.
What once I saw as a handicap given to Jacob, I see as a grace.
The Lord had the grace to dis-able Jacob so that he would be unable to fight Him. How can you punch a man if you have no hands? How can you kick a man when you have no legs?
And how can you fight God when you have no will?
Jacobs limp hip, his mangled pride, was a gift from God - he would never have to deal with the torment of his own unfaithfulness again.
Please don't talk to me if you have never had a mangled hip. I just won't trust you.
On that note, a story of grace:
Studying. "Reading the Bible from the Margins"
"I've heard all this before
It is so redundent -
move along."
A voice whispers, "Michelle"
"Hmmm?"
"A year ago you knew none of what you read here"
"ummmm, duh"
"Rejoice in your redundancy, Michelle."
"Why?"
"Because it means you learned something."
"Hmmm."
Wednesday, September 29
Great minds think alike...
So I realized that my blog was the same template as my friends, it was just a different color. then I thought that was a little weird so I decided to change it up a little bit. It is strange to realize that you have things in common with people that you never thought you would have anything in common with.
Today katters and I jinxed like five times. Great minds thinking alike.
Grampa died a couple weeks ago. I cried today.
Then I ran into an older lady friend whose mom had died at the end of the last year. She had cried today too.
Great minds mourning alike.
I spoke long and lovingly with a girl I had previously thought rude.
She thought the same thing about me.
we laughed as we told each other, we rolled on the floor as we discovered how much we had in common.
She is a worship leader, student, single, techie, a little bit pudgy, strong and beautiful.
great minds....
It leads me to pray:
I thank you Lord
for giving me the gift
of being wrong
and for the gift
of failing
and judging
For in all of those poisons
I am chiseled by your grace
and formed into the woman
who is not as wrong
does not
fail
judge
as much
and who loves like you do
Amen.
Today katters and I jinxed like five times. Great minds thinking alike.
Grampa died a couple weeks ago. I cried today.
Then I ran into an older lady friend whose mom had died at the end of the last year. She had cried today too.
Great minds mourning alike.
I spoke long and lovingly with a girl I had previously thought rude.
She thought the same thing about me.
we laughed as we told each other, we rolled on the floor as we discovered how much we had in common.
She is a worship leader, student, single, techie, a little bit pudgy, strong and beautiful.
great minds....
It leads me to pray:
I thank you Lord
for giving me the gift
of being wrong
and for the gift
of failing
and judging
For in all of those poisons
I am chiseled by your grace
and formed into the woman
who is not as wrong
does not
fail
judge
as much
and who loves like you do
Amen.
Tuesday, September 28
She rises with the dawn...
I have officially decided that I like the early morning.
Now if I can go to bed on time so I can actually get up in the early morning...
THAT IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT QUESTION
Now if I can go to bed on time so I can actually get up in the early morning...
THAT IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT QUESTION
Monday, September 27
Wandering...
I went wandering around campus today looking for nothing in particular. I found myself stopping and chatting with a number of people, some old friends, some new, some not really friends but aquintances on the waiting list.
It was nice.
Speaking of friends - I read ones' blog today. As little salt ponds formed in the dark circles of my tired eyes, I realized, for the hundreth time, that she is most amazing. She has this certain ju nes chez qua about her.
She doesn't talk too much - I admire that. She cries when she falls down, but better than that - she cries when you fall down.
Often times I feel like I am not good enough to be her friend - there must be something I am missing, some action undone or word unspoken that lingers as a big fat "duh" to everybody except me. I wish I knew how to serve her better. I really really wish I knew.
On another note:
class started today and that is another good change! I am not sure how I will handle the new lack-of-social-life schedule that awaits the next ten weeks: but there is some sort of prophetic spirit about this quarter.
i sit foretelling and forthtelling my soul that difficulty brings strength of faith and character - that obligations to work make play so much more, well, playful! This quarter will be a lesson in play.
I take for granted my play, now I will learn to cherish it.
I expect to have fun and have ease, now I will learn to be grateful for both.
So, for the next ten weeks: I am working 30 hours a week, classing 12 hours a week, studying 15 hours a week and churching 3 hours a week (aside from work).
i think as long as i keep fixed on Jesus, everything will be just fine. I am not busy: I am learning how to be in the real world: I am learning to schedule and be disciplined. Again.
Didn't we do this last year Lord? And the year before? and before?
Ahhhhh, long live the divine molding hands of my Lord and my God, Jesus Christ.
It was nice.
Speaking of friends - I read ones' blog today. As little salt ponds formed in the dark circles of my tired eyes, I realized, for the hundreth time, that she is most amazing. She has this certain ju nes chez qua about her.
She doesn't talk too much - I admire that. She cries when she falls down, but better than that - she cries when you fall down.
Often times I feel like I am not good enough to be her friend - there must be something I am missing, some action undone or word unspoken that lingers as a big fat "duh" to everybody except me. I wish I knew how to serve her better. I really really wish I knew.
by the way - I am quite aware that I cannot spell ju nes chez qua but don't count that against her description.
On another note:
class started today and that is another good change! I am not sure how I will handle the new lack-of-social-life schedule that awaits the next ten weeks: but there is some sort of prophetic spirit about this quarter.
i sit foretelling and forthtelling my soul that difficulty brings strength of faith and character - that obligations to work make play so much more, well, playful! This quarter will be a lesson in play.
I take for granted my play, now I will learn to cherish it.
I expect to have fun and have ease, now I will learn to be grateful for both.
So, for the next ten weeks: I am working 30 hours a week, classing 12 hours a week, studying 15 hours a week and churching 3 hours a week (aside from work).
i think as long as i keep fixed on Jesus, everything will be just fine. I am not busy: I am learning how to be in the real world: I am learning to schedule and be disciplined. Again.
Didn't we do this last year Lord? And the year before? and before?
Ahhhhh, long live the divine molding hands of my Lord and my God, Jesus Christ.
Saturday, September 25
Moving On
Ok so today is better and i love God and music again and I am moving into a new place.
Newness is good.
I love change.
That is so weird, isn't it?
most people aren't so fond of it, but it's cool with me.
Last night I saw the killer opposum that WoodrowWilson describes in his blog. uuugugggg.
Yeah, God probably didn't want that guy on the ark. gross
Newness is good.
I love change.
That is so weird, isn't it?
most people aren't so fond of it, but it's cool with me.
Last night I saw the killer opposum that WoodrowWilson describes in his blog. uuugugggg.
Yeah, God probably didn't want that guy on the ark. gross
Tuesday, September 21
Today does not deserve a title. It sucked. I think I hate my job. I say "I think" because I am not sure if I really hate my job or I just hate me at my job. I feel like I never want to do anything ever again except run around doing things that I feel like doing. I want to be independently wealthy and only volunteer at all the cool places that I have always wanted to volunteer but have neither the time nor financial stability to do so.
Perhaps I will move to Europe and live out of a backpack for a year and eat bread and wine and cry a lot.
Perhaps not.
I saw no one that I actually like today. It is not that I dislike anybody at my job, it is just that I am indifferent - or I think they are stupid.
Except one girl. She's cool, but she thinks I am weird because I am from California. I am too different from her.
I used to love music and I used to love God.
I am not sure about either.
Tommorrow will be better, I am sure, and tommorrow I will love both music and God. But not today and not right now.
I already feel guilty for saying that. Piss.
Perhaps I will move to Europe and live out of a backpack for a year and eat bread and wine and cry a lot.
Perhaps not.
I saw no one that I actually like today. It is not that I dislike anybody at my job, it is just that I am indifferent - or I think they are stupid.
Except one girl. She's cool, but she thinks I am weird because I am from California. I am too different from her.
I used to love music and I used to love God.
I am not sure about either.
Tommorrow will be better, I am sure, and tommorrow I will love both music and God. But not today and not right now.
I already feel guilty for saying that. Piss.
Monday, September 20
The interesting thing about feelings
I have recently discovered that missing people is tricky. I have a friend whom I left to be on vacation. When I was on vacation and my friend was home, the friend missed me very much and I was ok.
Now I am home and friend is on vacation. I miss friend very, very much.
It's different when you are the one at home.
I like being the vacationer better. Missing is hard.
Now I am home and friend is on vacation. I miss friend very, very much.
It's different when you are the one at home.
I like being the vacationer better. Missing is hard.
Sunday, August 1
Fyodor
Mr. Dostoevsky said
"For all the dentists in the world, you are still at the mercy of your own teeth."
Maybe he meant that the world offers many "solutions" to many problems, but until you fix the inherent, you can prevent nothing.
There is no such thing as an outside solution to an inside problem.
There is no such thing as an inside solution to an outside problem.
Perhaps this is why the Bible isn't connecting with the world. It is an inside document that is being applied to outside people.
Last I checked, we were supposed to love those who chose a different inside than us.
Is this too far? Is this limiting the limitless Words of an almighty, all-graceful, all-loving creator? Or is it being wise with the pearls that have been strung for us?
What fine line do we cross to make surgical precision into amputation?
Where and when does God want us to stop using the words that were so compassionately given to us?
I have been cut deep, beyond human repair, by people wielding a battle sword and not a scalpel. Where does it end, and with whom?
"For all the dentists in the world, you are still at the mercy of your own teeth."
Maybe he meant that the world offers many "solutions" to many problems, but until you fix the inherent, you can prevent nothing.
There is no such thing as an outside solution to an inside problem.
There is no such thing as an inside solution to an outside problem.
Perhaps this is why the Bible isn't connecting with the world. It is an inside document that is being applied to outside people.
Last I checked, we were supposed to love those who chose a different inside than us.
Is this too far? Is this limiting the limitless Words of an almighty, all-graceful, all-loving creator? Or is it being wise with the pearls that have been strung for us?
What fine line do we cross to make surgical precision into amputation?
Where and when does God want us to stop using the words that were so compassionately given to us?
I have been cut deep, beyond human repair, by people wielding a battle sword and not a scalpel. Where does it end, and with whom?
Tuesday, July 27
Two weeks later
two weeks later I finally write to you about nothing in particular, writing not because I want to but out of guilt and a bit of hope that someone
somewhere
will read me.
somewhere
will read me.
Monday, July 5
What is a blog anyway?
After viewing various blogs, from both friends and relatives, I have come to the conclusion that a blog is a place to tell everybody what you want them to know about you without having to say it to their face. It is where people expose their hearts and say, "This is who I am, take it or leave it." It is a place where you can tell people how you really feel, and what you really think, without the danger of seeing the person across from you give you a look that could kill: kill the spirit, the soul, the imagination.
After this realization, and after I repented for dangerous presuppositions, I have officially decided:
IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM - JOIN THEM.
So here you may find a little more of me than you care to discover, but I suppose if you are really someone who loves me, this will delight you, suprise you, and fill you with a small portion of the adventure that thrives within my soul.
A little posey to start our journey:
Let us go together
Let us wonder through the wilderness
and wait for crows to feed us and springs to appear
Let us catch colds and break bones
and eat bugs and drink river water
Let us laugh and cry and sing and dance
Let us love and worship and adore
and stand in awe of each other
and our creator - o great spirit - o healing oil
Let us amaze ourselves
Let us give and give and give
till our blood runs dry
Let us go together
and wonder through the wilderness
and wonder
and wonder
After this realization, and after I repented for dangerous presuppositions, I have officially decided:
IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM - JOIN THEM.
So here you may find a little more of me than you care to discover, but I suppose if you are really someone who loves me, this will delight you, suprise you, and fill you with a small portion of the adventure that thrives within my soul.
A little posey to start our journey:
Let us go together
Let us wonder through the wilderness
and wait for crows to feed us and springs to appear
Let us catch colds and break bones
and eat bugs and drink river water
Let us laugh and cry and sing and dance
Let us love and worship and adore
and stand in awe of each other
and our creator - o great spirit - o healing oil
Let us amaze ourselves
Let us give and give and give
till our blood runs dry
Let us go together
and wonder through the wilderness
and wonder
and wonder
Sunday, July 4
Something I never thought I would do
Ok so I made a blog, like how totally un-like me is that? This is proof that summer makes you loose your brain and do weird things. Very out-of-character things. So yeah. Here it is.
How much you wanna bet I never get on this thing again?
How much you wanna bet I never get on this thing again?
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