Culture + Arts + Faith + Education

Wednesday, June 14

On being twitterpayted....

I graduated last Saturday and I now work at Wild Oats and love it - but I don't really want to talk about that right now. Right now, I wanna talk about love (the romantic kind - not the happy Jesus kind - although I do take issue with separating the two... but that is for another day).

So, here are some questions.... based on recent conversations with the women-folk and the interesting "love life" issues that have popped up for us in the past six months... I am curious to all your responses.

1. If you like someone but then they don't like you, should you stick in there or should you bail?
2. For how long should you pine/when should you bail?
which leads to:
2. Is unrequited love from God?
3. Should you get back with ex's? Pros and Cons?
4. Should we as Christians try to take romantic relationships into our own hands?
meaning:
5. How much imput do we/should we have in our own love lives?
6. Why is it so damn scary to fall in love?
7. What happens when you fall in love and you are too scared to act on it?
which brings up:
8. How much work and pain and risk is too much work and pain and risk?

All of these things have been swimming about in my gray matter for awhile. Mostly because of a great couple-friend of mine who worked their ASSES off to be in relationship and are now getting married - I am so touched by their story.
Also, because another little missy sister has been in love with this guy for like 2 years and he is not so much and she can't pull away.... she is not a crazy woman!!! She is sane and sure and beautiful and spirit-led... but this love for this man has her ravished.
AND, I have been on my own saga (drama!?) of romance over the past 8 months or so and I am not sure how to proceed because I am full of wonderment and excitment and fear and joy and trepidation all at once.

Internal monologue alert!!! Internal monologue alert!!
I feel like this love thing is much harder than I thought it should be. At first I thought that it was hard because I had not "found the right person." But ya know what? As of late, EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP that I have spoken with friends about, heard about, been in, tried out, learned about - has been HARD.
DAMN! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN EASY RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!
But, hey, ya know what else? Every one of those relationships that I know have been super-hard have come out on the other side being super-amazing. Maybe it has to do with our age... we are too experienced and life educated to happ-hazzardly "fall" in love anymore. We know too much. We have hurt and been hurt too often. We have been stupid ass idiot heads far too many times.... Simply put... I know better than to "fall" in love.

Oh no, my friends... we no longer "fall" in love:

We walk, heads held somewhat high -
tied to the arm of God -
bound up in our issues, fears, assumptions, fantasies and hopes -
as Shadrach/Meshach/Abednego -
into the raging seven-times-hotter fire -
and we burn
and trust
and fear
and trust
and cry
and trust
and fear some more.
We penetrate, totally aware of the heat that flickers at our toes
into - oh my goodness/help me Jesus - love.
Yet somewhere deep down we know

even though terrified by it,
even though hating it,
even though called "stupidfoolishcrazy - walk yourself/your lover/together like that in a fire on purpose?"
That when we come out, we will stand free of all which bound us.
We will not reek of smoke.
We will not die in what should have killed us.
We will stand tall, completely aware of our foolish faith.
And those around us will see the extra figure in the fire.... and our stories will testify... our stories will encourage... our stories will be those that make up a diary of the best kind of love story there is:
the intentional, unconditional, broken, beaten, resurrected, fought for, valuable love story that is most closely akin
to the love story that is us and God.


.................

I guess I answered my own questions.
Bring it on.

2 comments:

maria bjørdal said...

So - I love your idea about walking into love and i love you.
m

KBush said...

Hey -

I'm a friend of Jim and Bethany's, and stumbled upon your blog while reading his. I too have been thinking about unrequited love, relationships, boundaries, and recently read Laura Smit's "Loves Me, Loves Me Not", which at least partially addresses some of your questions...you should check it out.

Anyway, you can find me through Bethany if you'd like.